Friendships are Wonderful, Amazing & Difficult for me.
I am very sensitive person. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I feel too much! I think too much! I worry too much! I read way too deep into things people do and usually take is too heart when really it meant nothing at all. I am an anxious person so somethings just eek me out of certain situations. For example: I am a self diagnosed germ-a-phobe. So if you or your family are sick. You won’t be seeing me for about 2 weeks. I don’t want you to share any of that with me. But even with my struggles with depression and anxiety I can usually put on a fake smile that hides my many insecurities and be outgoing and bubbly. But that is exhausting for me some days. I have so much to be thankful. But sometimes I’ll have a random panic attack in the pots & pans aisle at Wal-Mart for no reason what so ever. Yup, I can be a hot mess!!
No Really….Please form a single file line for all of you who want to be my friend. (Sarcasm) Yep, I’ll just tuck my crazy back into my pocket and save all that for another day.
The first time I meet someone I always get a gut feeling about them. I always trust my instinct. I can tell weather we are going to click or weather we will be “hello friends” (Someone you are friendly too but do not necessarily spend any time with) or if we will be good /close friends because we connect on some/many levels. I have always had a hard time making friends. I never had many friends in school. Then I moved out of my home town and across the country. That made making friends even harder since I didn’t know anyone from a can of paint. Always thought that saying was silly. A can of paint, you can’t get to know a can of paint it is a thing, not a person who you can make a relationship with. Any way…
Basically what I am saying is I take friendship very seriously. I like spending time with my friends. I like staying in touch texting, calling or spending time together. I am NOT a good part time friend. Cause if I choose you to be my friend I want to spend time with you. It is so hard now that we are adults and everyone is busy. Families, working, life in general. But I find if you really matter in someone’s life they will make time for you. I have had those friends who are ALWAYS busy. That is not a friendship to me. Never seeing someone or talking to someone doesn’t work for me. Just knowing of someone is an acquaintance not a friend.
I try to be sincere, honest and caring. I try to be a good friend. I make time for my friends. My family comes first but friends are very important to me as well. I know I fail as a friend more often than I care to share. But to my friends who know the real me and are close to me. I hope they know that I love them with my whole heart and would do anything for them.
We all have our stories, our struggles, our priorities and the best thing we can do is care for one another. I know for absolute certainty that I am a needy friend. I also know that I am not everyone’s cup of tea. I am OK with that. Because we are human. We are all different. Remember when times get tough that is when you will figure out who your true friends are. Those are the ones you keep close to your heart. The ones who come to help you in your time of need. The ones that stand by you even though you are struggling. Those friends are priceless. They are also sometimes very hard to find.
Friendships can be amazing. It takes time to get to know someone’s true self. Friendships take energy and effort. You have to be willing to put yourself out there and do things together. Being together creates the bond. They take a piece of you that is special for that specific friendship. Each one of my girlfriends and I have different relationships with each other. The effort you put out is not always returned but that doesn’t mean you instantly give up. That’s OK, some people take a little while longer to warm up.
Life is short. Take this moment, call a friend, (The one you’ve been meaning to call but you keep forgetting too) text your friends often, plan a get together, let the good ones know you love them. You never know who may need that simple gesture of knowing someone cares to turn their day around from a terrible day to a good day. Just knowing someone is thinking of you and someone cares about you. That is what makes people feel good & makes someone smile. Friends are good to have. I love mine ❤
What kind of Friend are you??