Anxious

I have wrote this first sentence at least 10 different times today. Each time the sentence has had an assortment of different words.

I finally have decided to just be honest.

I am struggling today. My anxiety is high and my heart is racing. I am at a loss for words. I wish I could express in words what I feel. I don’t think there are words to describe the endless thoughts, insecurities and worry. That is anxiety.

I am sure there are people out there that have the unfortunate sense to truly understand the days where you can’t move, eat or think. Without feeling like you are falling off a cliff. I would like to say that it will be all better tomorrow. That would be amazing. But that isn’t how mental illness works.

I have been trying to climb through this fog but it is relentless and feels never ending. I wish there was a magic fix but there isn’t. The medicine that Doctors give take the edge off but some days it is just not enough. There are good days in between the shadows of darkness. Those are the days I am thankful for.

I am putting my anxiety issues out there in hopes that I can help someone. If you are reading this and you are shaking your head knowing exactly what I am talking about. Please know you are not alone. Its a hard difficult battle. I understand.

Please forgive me for my raw honesty.  I’m a Mom, a wife, a sister, a friend and someone who struggles with mental illness.  The anxiety holds me hostage from the things I want to do everyday. It is very lonely & difficult.

I struggle with depression and anxiety and sometimes just knowing someone cares or understands gets me through my hard dark days. Thank you for your patience and understanding ❤

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