Are you Depressed?

I am not a doctor. If you are feeling depressed or having suicidal thought! Go to your Dr. or ER immediately!!! If you need someone to talk too here is the Suicide Hotline phone number to call –

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number

  • 1-800-273-8255

 

I talk pretty openly about my depression.

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I have suffered from depression for as long as I can remember. Depression in one of those things that everyone suffers from differently. My depression unfortunately also comes with a side of anxiety. For me it feels like a rollercoaster ride. Some days are Ok & some days I want to dig a hole to disappear in.

I found this List of Symptoms of Depression HERE!

Although depression may occur only one time during your life, usually people have multiple episodes of depression. During these episodes, symptoms occur most of the day, nearly every day and may include:

  • Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness
  • Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies or sports
  • Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much
  • Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort
  • Changes in appetite — often reduced appetite and weight loss, but increased cravings for food and weight gain in some people
  • Anxiety, agitation or restlessness
  • Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or blaming yourself for things that aren’t your responsibility
  • Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
  • Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide
  • Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches

I can honestly say I have felt all those symptoms at one time or another.  For myself usually can mask my depression. I put one a happy face and do what I truly don’t feel like doing. I am a Mom. I love & care for my children everyday. I am a wife. My husband is my best friend and I love him more than words. I always take care of my responsibilities that I do because I love my family. I put them all before myself. There are days my depression knocks me down.  I don’t even want to leave the house. I just feel sad and worthless. But my family definitely is what gets me outta bed in the morning.

Robin-Williams-QuoteQuote By : Robin Williams ❤

I wish there was more compassion in our society for people who suffer from depression or any mental illness. It really can be life altering and debilitating. It is not something you can just get over. For example: a cold. With a cold you are feel terrible for 7-10 days and then you are back to your normal self.

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Mental illness is different. It is always there sometimes it lies quietly somewhere inside you and you feel OK for a while. Then without notice you suddenly don’t feel like doing anything, you just feel sad and tired. You feel worthless and guilty for not doing what you normally do. Maybe you can’t sleep or can’t eat?? Maybe all you want to do is sleep and can’t get enough to eat. It is different for everyone. The worst part of depression are the thoughts that circle around your head that maybe just maybe this world would be better off without you. You know somehow logically that this not the case but you think about it. It is raw and painful to have these thoughts.Then thinking about it makes you feel even worse because you know you should not be having those thoughts. It is truly a vicious cycle. All you know for sure is you want these thoughts to stop and you just want to feel “normal”. Maybe even Happy.

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Usually when you tell someone you suffer from depression the first thing they ask is

“Are you on anti-depressants?”

Let me tell you a secret. Anti- Depressants are NOT a cure for Depression. It does not make all the terrible feelings and thought go away. These pills also do not make someone better in an instant, in a month or even in a year/s. They make the thoughts & feelings a little less dark and raw and life a little more tolerable. But it is far from a cure. It is still there at some level. Some days are good and some days are bad.  Plus the side effects from some of those medications are far from pleasant. Taking medication really is truly a delicate balance. You don’t want to feel like a zombie with no feelings whatsoever and you also don’t want to be a blubbering, crying hot mess. It seriously is like a science experiment figuring out what medicine works best for you and what does not. Plus the time frame for them to even take effect is 6-8 weeks. So sure you get the medication but now there is a 2 month wait period to see if you may or may not start to feel better. Then you have to consider the side effects. Anywhere from weight gain, to headaches, dizziness, low libido,  or irritability…… There are for too many side effects to list but most of them are less than pleasant.

I wanted to include some tips that may be helpful.  If you know someone who is depressed here are some ideas on what you can do to help them.

I found the information HERE!

9 Best Ways to Support Someone with Depression

If your loved one is struggling with depression, you may feel confused, frustrated and distraught yourself. Maybe you feel like you’re walking on eggshells because you’re afraid of upsetting them even more. Maybe you’re at such a loss that you’ve adopted the silent approach. Or maybe you keep giving your loved one advice, which they just aren’t taking.

Depression is an insidious, isolating disorder, which can sabotage relationships. And this can make not knowing how to help all the more confusing.

But your support is significant. And you can learn the various ways to best support your loved one. Below, Deborah Serani, PsyD, a psychologist who’s struggled with depression herself, shares nine valuable strategies.

1. Be there.

According to Serani, the best thing you can do for someone with depression is to be there. “When I was struggling with my own depression, the most healing moments came when someone I loved simply sat with me while I cried, or wordlessly held my hand, or spoke warmly to me with statements like ‘You’re so important to me.’ ‘Tell me what I can do to help you.’ ‘We’re going to find a way to help you to feel better.’”

2. Try a small gesture.

If you’re uncomfortable with emotional expression, you can show support in other ways, said Serani, who’s also author of the excellent book Living with Depression.

She suggested everything from sending a card or a text to cooking a meal to leaving a voicemail. “These gestures provide a loving connection [and] they’re also a beacon of light that helps guide your loved one when the darkness lifts.”

3. Don’t judge or criticize.

What you say can have a powerful impact on your loved one. According to Serani, avoid saying statements such as: “You just need to see things as half full, not half empty” or “I think this is really all just in your head. If you got up out of bed and moved around, you’d see things better.”

These words imply “that your loved one has a choice in how they feel – and has chosen, by free will, to be depressed,” Serani said. They’re not only insensitive but can isolate your loved one even more, she added.

4. Avoid the tough-love approach.

Many individuals think that being tough on their loved one will undo their depression or inspire positive behavioral changes, Serani said. For instance, some people might intentionally be impatient with their loved one, push their boundaries, use silence, be callous or even give an ultimatum (e.g., “You better snap out of it or I’m going to leave”), Serani said. But consider that this is as useless, hurtful and harmful as ignoring, pushing away or not helping someone who has cancer.

5. Don’t minimize their pain.

Statements such as“You’re just too thin-skinned” or “Why do you let every little thing bother you?” shame a person with depression, Serani said. It invalidates what they’re experiencing and completely glosses over the fact that they’re struggling with a difficult disorder – not some weakness or personality flaw.

6. Avoid offering advice.

It probably seems natural to share advice with your loved one. Whenever someone we care about is having a tough time, we yearn to fix their heartache.

But Serani cautioned that “While it may be true that the depressed person needs guidance, saying that will make them feel insulted or even more inadequate and detach further.”

What helps instead, Serani said, is to ask, “What can we do to help you feel better?” This gives your love one the opportunity to ask for help. “When a person asks for help they are more inclined to be guided and take direction without feeling insulted,” she said.

7. Avoid making comparisons.

Unless you’ve experienced a depressive episode yourself, saying that you know how a person with depression feels is not helpful, Serani said. While your intention is probably to help your loved one feel less alone in their despair, this can cut short your conversation and minimize their experience.

8. Learn as much as you can about depression.

You can avoid the above missteps and misunderstandings simply by educating yourself about depression. Once you can understand depression’s symptoms, course and consequences, you can better support your loved one, Serani said.

For instance, some people assume that if a person with depression has a good day, they’re cured. According to Serani, “Depression is not a static illness. There is an ebb and flow to symptoms that many non-depressed people misunderstand.” As she explained, an adult who’s feeling hopeless may still laugh at a joke, and a child who’s in despair may still attend class, get good grades and even seem cheerful.

“The truth is that depressive symptoms are lingering elsewhere, hidden or not easy to see, so it’s important to know that depression has a far and often imperceptible range,” Serani said.

9. Be patient.

Serani believes that patience is a pivotal part of supporting your loved one. “When you’re patient with your loved one, you’re letting them know that it doesn’t matter how long this is going to take, or how involved the treatments are going to be, or the difficulties that accompany the passage from symptom onset to recovery, because you will be there,” she said.

And this patience has a powerful result. “With such patience, comes hope,” she said. And when you have depression, hope can be hard to come by.

Sometimes supporting someone with depression may feel like you’re walking a tight rope. What do I say? What do I not say? What do I do? What do I not do?

But remember that just by being there and asking how you can help can be an incredible gift.

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Just knowing someone cares about you can sometimes be all someone needs to get through those really dark difficult days. Don’t give up on your friend or relative who is Depressed it is a illness not anything personal against you. Depression is a difficult & invisible illness. If who know someone who is depressed try to be understanding, show them kindness, love them and support them unconditionally.

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