I have been a parent for 15 years now. I am far from the perfect parent. I make mistakes, get annoyed and sometimes I get frustrated with my children. Everyone does and anyone who tells you that they don’t well…my guess is that they are not telling you the truth. My kids are great kids but they like any other children misbehave, have bad attitudes sometimes and/or just generally have their bad behavior days. Always remember that even as adults we ALL have these days as well. There are days I am grumpy and don’t want to do the things I need to do. Kids will be kids and they are allowed their grumpy days too.
Parenting is difficult to put is nicely & children are not born with instruction manuals. I am a firm believer that you should do whatever works Best for Your Family.
These tips I am sharing are what worked great for my family!! I have always gotten and still do get many compliments from complete strangers & many teachers on how well behaved my children are. Even when they were little; people would stop me and tell me “you are doing a great job, your child/children are very well behaved. Those compliments made me feel proud and also encouraged me to continue with being consistent and training them the way I felt was right for our family everyday.
Here are 15 Great Parenting Tips I have used with my children and I thought you might like these ideas to use for your own children. We started from a young age to always be kind, respectful, be polite to everyone and train them consistently right from wrong as they grow so that they would be/are well behaved & respectful children. By train I mean teach them what you expect from them in every situation. I still to this day get many compliments on how polite, respectful and how my kids stand out because of how polite, helpful & caring they are to others young & old.
- Take your children out with you everywhere you go as often as possible. (I.E. Grocery Store/Restaurants/ Bank/Post office) Teach them how you want them to act in these places. Such as you have to use your inside voice. (I.E. No Screaming – it’s my pet peeve!!) Teach them that you have to be patient even though it’s not fun. Practice waiting and being patient at home & then highly praise them when they do wait patiently.
- As they grow teach your child to hold the cart at the store (Avoids running wild) and allow them to help you get things off the shelves. NO screens at the store!!
- Whisper in their ear – When your kids do misbehave as they will out in public – My kids knew I was not happy with their behavior when I knelt down, held their hand and whispered in their ear what I expected from them and what they needed to stop doing. Yelling at children doesn’t usually solve their behavior problems. But getting down on their level and speaking softly in their ear usually makes them stop, be quiet and stand still so they can hear what you are saying. If they throw a tantrum… walk away far enough that you can see them but they can tell that you are not paying any attention what so ever to their tantrum. (Pretend to be doing something other than watching them) When they finish their fit then you go to them, hold their hand and speak quietly in their ear that that is not how we act at the store. It is repetitively teaching them the proper ways to behave in the manner which you expect from them when you are at home or out in public.
- Teach them Manners from very early on – You role model the behavior you want them to have and they learn faster. Encourage them to always say Please, Thank You, Excuse me. Make sure when you talk to them that you as well use your manners. These manners are vital in respecting parents, family, other children & everyone we meet throughout life.
- Respect has no age limit – Always Be Respectful to Everyone, the disabled, a baby and all the way up to seniors. If there is an adult around who isn’t family – Our children call then Mr. or Ms. as a form of respect.
- Be Courteous to Others -Hold the Door Open – Rake your neighbors yard – Be Friendly -Take time to Smile and say Hi – Help your neighbor or family carry groceries or things bought from the store to the house – Take the cart back to the cart stall for the person next to you. Raise gentleman to always make sure the lady is first – Be Polite – Make eye Contact. Say excuse me if you need to go in front of someone or bump into someone.
- Make them earn screen time by age appropriate chores – Then set a time limit that they actually get to play. Screen time in our house is not everyday either. It is random from week to week depending on attitudes, if they got their chores done daily , behavior at home and at school.
- If the sun is out & it is about 60 degrees then kids should be playing outside. From spring to fall. If it is sunny, outside is Best!!! Join them, have fun & you get your exercise too 😀
- Eat Dinner Together Every night!! Doesn’t matter what time it is make sure you all eat together. Talk about your day. Enjoy each others company!!
- Encourage reading time everyday. We use 30 minutes as the minimum and have from a very early age. Before they can read – Read to them everyday. Kids love the one on one time. To this day we have reading time and it usually now last longer then the original 30 minutes daily time frame. This is great for quiet time for you & for the children. It is also a great way to learn about new things, places and read great stories. Use your local library. It is free and the kids will highly benefit from learning all great stuff they can from all those books.
- As my children got older; When ever I use to call for them say they were upstairs and I was down stairs. I started despising them yelling back to me “WHAT” from where ever they were. I wanted that to stop so I enforced that when I call their name. They must come to me quietly and reply with “Yes, Mom” or “Yes, Ma’am”. It is so much more respectful and also a lot less annoying than hearing “what” all the time.
- The same goes for if they don’t hear what I or someone says or tells them. They say “Excuse Me” NOT What. I find that response much more pleasant and respectful to me or anyone they may not of understand or heard what they have been told.
- Family Comes First – We treat our family with love, respect, kindness and help each other always. We are family and we all have to live together. When there is a problem we work it out respectfully.
- We all help take care of the house because we all live here and we are family. I call these life skills. Find age appropriate chores for them to help around the house. It can be as simple as picking up their toys, to taking their clothes to their room, keeping their own bedrooms clean, setting or clearing the table, mopping the floor, washing dishes, loading or unloading the dishwasher, vacuuming or the cleaning bathroom. Obviously the chores depends on the childs age. Some day they will have their own house to care for so they will need these skills to maintain their own house one day.
- When you do make a mistake. Apologize to your child. We are all human. We all make mistakes as kids and as adults. This teaches your child that you respect them, love them and care about their feelings. Also that you are human and make mistakes too. Tell them often that you will always love them no matter what. On good days or Bad. Kids need their love tank filled as often as you can!!
I believe most parents do the very best they can everyday. Everyday won’t be perfect. But you can make the best out of whatever comes you way. Parenting is a very personal thing and everyone has their own ways of doing things. These are just the things I did for my children that I felt were important in raising them to be a successful adults one day.